A Reflection on My Solitary Travels

My decision to change plans was an extremely needed decision. When I chose my 10 days in Madrid I was skeptical about whether I would truly feel better about traveling alone. I was expecting myself to be miserable for the rest of my trip in all honesty. I didn't really think there would be a turning point. There was though. My days in Madrid were extremely relaxing and I even enjoyed myself. I made new friends on my time and didn't force myself to do anything but relax. By the time I started site seeing again, I was relaxed. I realize now that my original plan would never have worked anyway. I was too ambitious. No one can actively site see for a month nonstop in my opinion, it's just not possible without getting tired. By the time I was sitting in the Madrid train station, I realized I was content with what I was doing. I wasn't miserable or pining for home anymore, I was relaxed and ready to go to the next place and see what it brought me. 

In Bilbao, I continued with my relaxed way of travel and didn't rush anything. I spent a lot of time on park benches just watching everything around me. My time in Bilbao was really just me moving from bench to bench. I found I do in fact enjoy traveling alone. I never would get to hear all the stories I have if I had been with a group because we would've talked amongst ourselves. I enjoy the ability to chose exactly what I'm going to do that day, whether it's a spur of the moment decision or I ask someone else what to do. I like having the ability to decide "yes that's exactly what I want", "no I think I will sit here for awhile". 

Once I reached Barcelona, I was an expert at doing what I wanted to do without feeling extremely guilty for not being a complete tourist. I don't enjoy doing touristy things alone, but pretending to be a local I enjoy. Sure I do some touristy things still, but only ones that really interest me. I don't go to all the touristy places just because it's one of the things you absolutely "have" to do while you're there. I did what I wanted, which sure was sometimes not leaving the hostel. I didn't feel guilty about it though. People may say I missed out on seeing things, heck there are some places I learned about after being in that city I would love going back and seeing, but I don't feel like I missed out. I saw what I wanted to see, sometimes more, but I didn't force it. You can't force it or you'll be miserable. 

Traveling alone I have come to realize what works for me and what doesn't. I have become fully dependent on my own decisions instead of letting myself depend on others to make decisions for me. I have found I like making my own decisions. Usually I just go along with what everyone else wants to do, just the sheep following the leader, but I was my own leader traveling alone. Being by myself I could pretend I wasn't a tourist, lots of people thought I wasn't a tourist. For my future travels, I now know what I need in order to enjoy solitary travel and I'm glad I had the ability to figure that out. I know traveling shouldn't be stressful for me. I also found that I would be content living in a large city, since I spent so much time in Madrid. I stepped outside of my comfort zone during my exploration of Spain but not too far out to make me miserable. I found the line and succeeded in enjoying my travels. So yeah, traveling in solitary works for me actually, I just wasn't doing it right before. Having said that, I feel the urge to close my last Spain blog post with the customary saying to pilgrims heading to Santiago "buen Camino bitches" (okay we may have edited the saying). Spain it's been real, and I will be back in a little over 7 days, but next time I'll be a tourist instead of a pretend local. Buen Camino Bitches....